Significant Others
by Forbiddensoul562
Summary: Near's frequent success is the bane of Mello's existance. Always obsessing, Mello's attention is focused on the the genius who's one step ahead of him. Yet maybe Mello has overlooked who exactly has always been there, just one step behind him. MelloxMatt.


A/N: I am the author famously known for my blatant hatred for Matt's character. However, as many people who read my work know, I am normally a MelloxNear writer. And, you might have noticed that I've started using Matt in my stories a lot more. Somehow I started finding where he fit, in my work. I figured out how to use his character properly and make it all work, I suppose. A few years ago I wrote this MelloxMatt story, because MelloxMatt is actually a guilty pleasure of mine that I do when nobody's looking. I sent it to my beta, Lumorai a while ago and she chained me to a chair and forced me to write it. And I did, so I could say I did it, and nobody could ever say I'm not a varied writer. I'm also doing this because, even though I am a MelloxNear writer, I do not believe in the "Because Mello and Near are together, Matt must become to enemy" stereotype. Anyway, I've talked too much to save my own skin. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters used in this story.

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><p>Title: Significant Others.<p>

No matter how many years go by, no matter how many things I try and change in my mind and my life, there's always one consistency. Always one thing in the back of my mind that I'm always unable to let go of. It was that irk in the back of my mind, the weight on my shoulders, the cloud over my head.

Despite how many miles, or on what corner of the world I tried to escape to, it was always there. _He_ was always there. Near… My rival. My competition. The one person standing between me and that ultimate goal.

No, it wasn't the ultimate goal of getting that stupid L title that I wanted so badly. I could've cared less about being L. Near could keep that for his own if he so desired it. No, what I wanted was simple. I wanted to beat him and thereby show him that he _wasn't _the greatest. He _wasn't_ the only person that could win those games he made up in his mind.

All I wanted was that moment of victory. To show Near he _wasn't _the best at everything. There was nothing else in the world that mattered to me nearly as much as that end goal.

I used to dream about it, back at Wammy's. When I had to deal with him on a daily basis and he was always on my mind. His presence was always there, to me, doing everything I did and more while doing absolutely nothing at the same time. I think those dreams are what made me hate him so much. I could feel the satisfaction overtake me in those brief moments, but almost instantly it was gone and I would wake up.

It was as if I was being teased with something my mind knew I would never have; teased with something _he_ had and would never let go. Something _he_ took for granted and held over my head all at the same time.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I stared out the dusted over window in my dingy New York apartment. It was all I could get my hands on without arising too much suspicion from local authorities. I didn't need that kind of heat right now… I just needed to lay low and focus on Kira and this case.

I needed to focus on Near and his actions…

My fist clenched at the thought of how much my thoughts always seemed to revolve around him. No, it wasn't just my thoughts. _Everything_ revolved around him. I left Wammy's because of him. I joined the mafia to gain the same resources he had. Hell, I was continuing this case because of him.

It call came back to him and I hated it with every fiber of my being. Because for every thought I put into him and what he was going to do or what he was thinking, I knew in the back of my mind that it wasn't worth it. He was not putting the same amount of thought time back into me. I wouldn't be surprised if he never even gave me two thoughts in a single week.

And yet here I was… I couldn't do anything without running through filters in my mind that rationalized whether it was a good move, and whether if Near was in the same position, would he do the same thing? He wasn't worth my effort. But he was my addiction. No, the _need_ to beat him was my addiction!

But no matter what I did, he was always two steps ahead of me! Just like when we were kids! He always knew the answers before I did! He'd just string me along, giving me just enough to allow me to keep up with him when in reality his thoughts were far further along.

No matter what I did, what I sacrificed, I could never escape the walls of Wammy's and the hell it put me through.

I suddenly felt so confined by the walls of this apartment that it was beginning to suffocate me. This life was suffocating me! There had to be a way out of it! To every puzzle and problem set before you there was _always_ an answer! There was always a way to solve it and get out! At least that's what _he_ always preached…

I let out a strangled scream in frustration, and suddenly shot up from my seat, pulling the gun from my waistline and shooting a single bullet into the computer sitting on the coffee table in front of Matt -shards of metal and plastic going everywhere.

The redhead shot back as I stormed away, "Hey! I was doing the surveillance this time!" He called after me. "My World of Warcraft data was on there, you know! I can't get that back!"

I hardly heard what he was saying as I retreated into the sole bedroom of the apartment, slamming the door behind me hard enough to feel the wall and part of the floor shake in its wake. I threw myself down onto the bed and tried to forget everything that constantly plagued my mind.

Usually I could deal with it. Usually I didn't have a problem thinking about Near and all the shit he puts me through. In a way, I always feel like it kept me motivated to not let myself fall or give up. I couldn't let myself just fade to nothing, and to no one at all. But sometimes the thoughts began to rest on me more and more, the weight and pressure of matching someone like Near became too much. He was at an ungodly high level that just didn't seem attainable, and sometimes that just got the best of me.

I sighed, closing my eyes. Snapping under the pressure was no reason to take it out on Matt… he was there just to try and help me. He could just as easily try and work harder to surpass both me and Near, like any normal competitor probably would. He probably figured it was better for him to just follow me along as the best friend instead of trying to get involved in this sick competition that'd always been raging between us.

If I won, then he won as well. And if I didn't win, than neither did he. I think he was fine with that either way. I exhaled once more, feeling myself begin to calm down at the thought of him. He was there to help me… he was there to pick me up when I needed it, and bandage me up when I did stupid, impulsive shit. I never asked it of him, he just… kind of did it. Like a puppy always there to lick his master's hand in a sort of reassuring 'you can do it' sort of way.

As if on cue I heard the door open with a slow creak. "Mels?" His quiet voice came from the doorway. I heard the concern and the worry in his tone. I kept my silence, though; even with my best friend I couldn't help but bite back any words due to my stupid pride. I was already a fool in Near's eyes, I refused to be one in Matt's.

I listened to the sound of his boots clomp across the floor, then felt the bed dip as he sat down beside me, worried green eyes watching my back intently. I hated the feeling of being watched, and there was a part of me that wanted to tell him to get the fuck out of the room. But I knew better…

I wasn't one of their owners who kicked their dog when they only wanted to make things better any way they could…

I felt a gentle hand touch my shoulder, carefully at first, as if expecting to be swatted away. I imagined a scared dog, who'd been hit too many times but kept coming back. Matt, like them, had limitless amounts of patience and love for me. I never really knew why I took that for granted.

His thumb and fingers began carefully working at the tense muscles of my shoulder and I couldn't help the audible sigh that escaped me. We'd been going through this routine for so long, he knew exactly what to do to make me relax, and knew when to speak and when to just let silence be the thing to fix my mood.

"He's in your mind again…" Matt said quietly, maneuvering himself a bit on the bed to grasp my shoulders with both hands and continue the work on them. There was an emotion in his words that I just couldn't place. Pain? Understanding? Worry? It was so hard to tell with him sometimes… He knew how to work me at times like this, but he also knew how to hide whatever he was feeling about the situation.

I really did take advantage of him sometimes… he did so much for me without my even having to ask. I never really gave any consideration to his feelings or emotions on situations. I used him as a tool to further my goal. I guess I got that from Near, as he used his workers in quite the same way.

But the difference was that Matt wasn't just someone I'd hired or conned into working for me. He was the only person who'd ever always been there throughout my life. He was consistent. He was a release from the hell of this competition.

"Yeah…" I breathed out simply.

He remained quiet, I'm sure unable to think of anything to really say in response. What was there to say? He couldn't tell me I needed to just stop letting him get to me; he understood that such a thing was impossible when it came to me. I wondered what else he thought of this… what thoughts did he bite back all these years?

"You're better than him, Mello… you just don't see that." He finally told me quietly, and oh so carefully. I suspected he thought I might lash out at him at any second for saying the wrong thing. I wished I could have found the words to tell him how wrong he was to think that, but knowing my temper in the past, I knew I'd have no past experiences to base that on.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes." He said almost instantly. "One day you'll see that you don't need to be like him to be above him. You don't need to win in order to be the better person between the two of you."

"You don't under-"

"Yes I do, Mello." He said simply, seriously.

I turned over suddenly, breaking his hold on me and glaring hard at him, "How could you possibly think you…" I stopped the sentence the moment his emotion shot through me - the moment I saw what he was feeling in those green eyes, in a way showing me all the things I had missed through all the years. Years of things he'd refused to tell me. Putting me before his own selfishness.

He watched me with those endless green eyes, for one unblocked by the orange lenses of the goggles on his head. A small cut under his right eye had a tiny trail of blood leaking from it, and I knew it had happened when I shot the computer… but more importantly, it was the pain and the concern and the disappointment in those orbs. The love and the hurt, all existing simultaneously in one complete form.

For the first time, I recognized exactly what he meant and what he had been experiencing for God only knew how long. He saw himself as second place, in my mind. He felt as though _he_ was constantly in a competition between himself and Near for my thoughts and attention.

He saw himself as that tool that I was just using. Perhaps even only just a friend because I needed him to further me along. In any case, it all went back to Near, and in his mind, when the choice came between he and Near… he knew I would pick the rivalry over him.

My heart fell instantly, and I didn't have the heart or the words to tell him how wrong he was. A part of me felt ashamed for being unable to see that in him for so long. I felt a bit crushed by the weight of that knowledge. But I couldn't just deny I'd ever seen it and let him continue thinking it.

Then again, if he was drawing comparisons, than would anything I said or did really convince him? My heart constricted at the thought that it probably wouldn't.

Without a sound in response I sat up, facing him, my thumb ran over the cut under his eye, "Look at you, getting all cut and scarred up. You're practically a war hero, now." I joked, a small smile appearing across my features.

He laughed lightly and pushed my hand away, "Yeah right, I've got nothing on you, Mels." He stated, and I saw his eyes lightening -the emotions being hidden from me once more.

The small smile remained on my lips as my hand moved from his cheek to pull off his goggles from his head and let that unruly hair of his lay claim to his head. He was actually quite handsome when he didn't hide it behind goggles and a video game in front of his face.

Our eyes met in a silent understanding of each other, a certain bond that only we, two children alone in a merciless world, could have formed. Maybe I couldn't take those thoughts from him, just as he couldn't take the competition completely from mine. But as I pulled him closer to me till our foreheads touched for a moment, then our lips, I knew that it didn't quite matter because we had each other to balance the other out and be the person to help the other up when they needed it most.

We were each other's scapegoat. Our alias. Each other's best friend. Our only unspoken lover. And anything else that lie in between on the spectrum of human relationships.

I hoped to God that he would hold this close, that no matter what, he would always be who I held up. My savior. My everything.

_The End_

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><p>AN: Well, there you go. My take at a MelloxMatt story. Who knows, maybe I'll do more one-shots for it if people enjoy it. I kind of like the dynamic of these two's characters. I like writing this sort of thing to try and explore that other side of Mello that we don't see with his rival. I feel it helps me in my other work, as well. I also am starting to like Matt, for his dynamic of constantly fighting between whether he should be a lover or a friend. It's interesting, to me. Anyway, let me know what you thought of this. Anything you could tell me would be a huge help. If you'd like to see more MelloxMatt from me, I won't know that unless you say something.

Please review  
><em>-Forbiddensoul562<em>


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